How to Control Your Anger

Someone slides into the parking spot you had your eye on. A coworker takes credit for your work. Your spouse runs up $200 on the credit card without discussing it first. These are things that are apt to make you angry.

And that’s okay.

Anger is a natural response to many life events. Like other emotions, anger helps us understand our world and how we feel about it. When managed well, anger can provide a healthy release and be a motivator for transformation. But when we experience too much anger, to the point of becoming out of control, it can have lasting ramifications.

Our Brain on Anger

When anger reaches a high level, our pre-frontal cortex, the part of the brain responsible for cognitive thought and reasoning, becomes hijacked. The amygdala, our primal emotional/instinctual part of the brain that induces the “fight or flight” response, takes over and we are no longer capable of rational thought.

When aroused to anger, our brains can no longer take in new information. This means if our partner or loved one is trying to talk sense into us and explain something, we CANNOT hear them. All we are aware of is that we must defend ourselves as if our very life depends on it. We feel under extreme attack and are ready to fight back.

How to Control Your Anger

Now that you know how your brain responds, it’s time to learn some techniques to manage your anger.

Take a Breather

We now know that when we are activated we are unable to process information and connect and connect in an empathetic way.  Therefore, there is little sense in continuing to talk/argue with someone. Your best course of action is to put the fire out before it begins to rage – call a time out, taking a breather, and distance yourself from the upsetting subject matter until you are in a calm state and ready to try again.

Exercise

The body’s “fight or flight” response releases powerful hormones that are intended to help us fight or run. Without this physical release, these hormones will linger in the body and continue to accumulate ultimately resulting in a higher level of baseline stress and potentially causing health problems. Going for a walk, running, or lifting weights can be a great way to burn through these hormones and release soothing endorphins.

Seek Out Counseling

Managing anger can be very challenging, especially in the beginning. If you or someone you love has anger management issues and would like to explore treatment options, please be in touch with me. I’d be more than happy to discuss how I may be able to help.